Yes, there are instructions.
What exactly is a Kink?
Glad you asked. The little plastic capsules dispensed by the machine are called Kinks. Hence, Kink Dispenser.
Kinks range in size from 2 inches to 3 inches and exist in all colors of the rainbow. Some contain tiny prizes. Some contain Golden Tickets. All of them contain whatever chaos the Kink Dispenser selected for you. Technically, yes, they’re reusable plastic vending capsules, but “capsule” sounds clinical, and “ball” created far too many opportunities for us, so they’re Kinks.
Step 1
Feed the machine
Choose your level of questionable decision-making:
$5
1 Kink
$9
2 Kinks
$13
3 Kinks
$20
5 Kinks
The price on the machine is the price you pay. No surcharge. Card fees come out of what we collect, not out of you.
At the machine
Pay by card right at the machine. It runs through Nayax, so that’s the name on your statement, not Kink Dispenser. You’re welcome. Privacy Policy
Tokens
A limited number of tokens are distributed around the events to recognize volunteers, people contributing to the community, attendees, or even just someone who asked a really good question in a class. One token gives you one Kink. Money is one way to support your community, not the only way, and we didn’t want cost to be a barrier to chaos.
Step 2
Open your Kink
There’s something deeply entertaining about watching someone open a Kink and immediately experience:
Delight
Confusion
“What the fuck is this?”
“Oh my god, I know EXACTLY who needs this.”
We consider all four successful outcomes.
You receive whichever Kink the machine dispenses. You can admire a particular one through the machine, point dramatically, and become convinced it contains your destiny. What you cannot do is select your Kink.
Why are some Kinks bigger than others?
The Kink Dispenser uses Kinks ranging from approximately 2 inches to 3 inches. We know, an extra inch sounds exciting, but please compose yourself. The size of your Kink has absolutely nothing to do with the quality or value of its contents. A three-inch Kink may contain something physically larger, that doesn’t mean it contains something better. Gift cards are flat. Golden Tickets are tiny. Some extremely fun prizes take up almost no space at all. In fact, Golden Tickets generally hide in smaller Kinks.
This is kink, you should know better than to judge based entirely on size.
A Note to Size Queens
As we tested the Kink Dispenser, it appears the machine may have a tendency to work through more of its two-inch Kinks before surrendering the three-inchers. We noticed it too. We are still learning its habits, so this is an observation, not a guarantee about what comes out next.
Fortunately, the smaller Kinks are not consolation prizes. Golden Tickets generally live there. Gift cards fit there. Tiny chaos fits beautifully there.
So if the machine appears to be in its Small Kink Era, do not despair, size queen. You’re not waiting for the good prizes, you’re already playing for them.
Step 3
Trade, connect, repeat
Didn’t get your thing? The Kink Dispenser rewarded your heart’s desire to someone else? We encourage attendees to trade prizes, ask questions, and use Kinks as a reason to connect. Consensual trade is encouraged whereas pursuing someone around the event because you decided their Kink belongs with you is not. The Kink Dispenser provides surprises, not custody arrangements.
When you have emptied your Kink(s), return the empty plastic to the bin beside the machine. Keep the prize. Keep any Golden Ticket. Give the plastic another adventure.